Dear Kellyanne,
I know you’re terribly busy, so let me begin by thanking you for taking the time to read this letter.
It’s hard to believe that only nine months have passed since Ted Cruz pulled out of the White House race. I can imagine it was a pretty big blow after all the effort and time you spent endorsing him.
The ads produced by your multi-million-dollar Political Action Committee (PAC) to ridicule Donald Trump hadn’t managed to dissuade the masses.
One of your commercials claimed he wasn’t a “real Conservative.” You even provided video evidence to back it up: footage from 1999, showing Trump expressing his support for late-term abortions.
You went on several television shows, arguing passionately that Trump was not fit for purpose. You accused him of intimidation. And you hounded him for refusing to publish his tax returns.

Photo credit: Gage Skidmore Source: wikipedia
But nobody seemed to care about the facts.
Two months after Cruz quit, Trump became your boss.
It must have been terrifying.
And exhilarating.
Your journey to this point, you told NJ Advance Media in an article published last September (please correct me, if this is fake news) began when you were a teenager working at a farm in Hammonton, New Jersey.
You spent eight summers there, packing blueberries. And in every respect, you excelled.
You could reportedly pack 300 crates a day – a skill that ultimately helped you win the World Champion Blueberry Packing competition.
“The faster you went, the more money you’d make, you said.”I wouldn’t stop to drink for hours. I would just keep going.”
I’m not surprised you won. Years later, you seem equally indefatigable.
But packing blueberries is good work.
Knowingly selling rotten ones is not.
In a recent Tweet, you informed the world that you serve the “pleasure of @POTUS.” “His message is my message,” you wrote. “His goals are my goals.”
I serve at the pleasure of @POTUS. His message is my message. His goals are my goals. Uninformed chatter doesn’t matter.
— Kellyanne Conway (@KellyannePolls) February 14, 2017
To a narcissist, there is no greater declaration of love. To anyone else, it reads as a cry for help.
Donald Trump has been forthright about his pleasures. In his own words, he is “automatically attracted to beautiful.” As for his goals, here again, in his own words, is one he has admitted failing to achieve: “I did try and fuck her. She was married.”
His message is your message. His goals are your goals.
I wonder if this is the life you imagined for yourself as you were packing blueberries all those years ago.
Servitude and sycophancy.
Was this what you had in mind when you went to law school? Or later when you founded your own polling company?
You have many talents, Kellyanne. The most potent is your serpent’s tongue. With your glib and oily art, you can turn the truth into an alternative fact and back again, all in a matter of seconds. Your tricks might be easy to learn but they are difficult to employ because they rely on a trait exemplified by your administration but alien to most: shamelessness.
But please, please, please believe me when I say to you: you can do more.
You can do more than be ridiculed for failing at an impossible task: acting as a mouthpiece for a man whose own words and deeds make no sense, who operates only on whims, and whose extraordinarily thin skin needs constant massaging.
Never forget that Donald Trump is your inferior. He is less intelligent and less diligent. He would never have had the stamina for packing blueberries like you did. Had he entered the packing competition, you would have beaten him easily, even if he might later have claimed the contest was rigged.
When I think about the things you could do I get very sad. You could use your slick and artful oratory to challenge bigotry and hate. You could unravel the lies told by those in authority and give a voice to those who don’t have one. You could advocate for immigrants, for gay and transgender folk, for a woman’s right to bodily autonomy. You could be a role model, a person of substance.
But instead you elect to prop up a system rigged in favour of ignorance and fear.
History will be unkind to you. You will be described as the Goebbels of your time.
Here is a more frivolous example of what I mean.
When my boyfriend suspects me of bending the truth, he refers to me as Katzianne Conway.
It’s a joke. Still, it reveals an unpleasant truth: your name has become synonymous with lies.
All I want to say, Kellyanne, is that is never too late to do the right thing. The departure of just one of the high-ranking opportunists Trump has gathered around him could be enough to trigger the downfall of his administration.
And that, I believe would go some way towards Making America Great Again – a goal that for many people was bitterly redefined on January 20th.
Now, more than ever, your voice is needed. Your real one. The one you’ve buried deep inside you, where decency resides. The one you use when you look your children in the eye and tell them that everything will be alright.
That’s all I have to say.
Take care and good luck,
Kate Katharina
Kate, I knew there was a reason to love your views, and this letter to Kellyanne makes you shine like a goddess of truth! I can hardly stomach the insanity coming from the White House these days, truly the inmates are in charge of the asylum. I only hope Trump and his cronies are soon disgraced, and honest and insightful reporting of the crimes they commit, by journalists like you, will inevitably bring them down! Thank you for being a beacon of reason!
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Robert, what an incredibly lovely comment! Thank you so much for stopping by and taking the time to weigh in. I very much hope this insanity ends soon before more havoc is wreaked..All the best!
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Yes!
We’ve been drowning in this uncontrolled geyser of political crap for so long now that I forgot Kellyanne spent much of the primaries supporting Ted Cruz (and bashing Trump). This kind of hypocrisy has become so commonplace, it doesn’t even register anymore.
It would be great if she joined the faction of prior Trump supporters that are either abandoning ship, or being ejected. But I’ve long since given up on predicting what SHOULD happen based on political, economic, and cultural realities.
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Absolutely agree – the hypocricy is astounding. One thing I noticed when researching for this piece was how relatively difficult it was to find old articles about Trump and Conway. We are so saturated by hourly revelations from this administration that we’re left scrambling to identify a narrative..
Thanks for stopping by 🙂
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Well said!
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Thanks! 🙂
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Beautifully succinct and compassionate piece, Kate! I admire your ability to see the goodness and humanity in someone as cartoonishly villainous as Conway, while still holding her accountable for her actions. Such ready empathy is crucial now more than ever. Please keep writing. xo
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aw, thank you so much, Marianne. To be honest, it did take me some time to get beyond my own villainous image of her. I certainly don’t think Kellyanne and I would be pals.. but I am strangely fascinated by her. I think this was just my way of trying to imagine what she might be experiencing right now. To outsiders, this seems like a very surreal time… I can only guess what it must be like to be in the middle of this absurd political machine.. As always, thank you so much for reading and your encouragement! It means a huge amount xx
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Kate, It’s funny. I’ve several times penned a letter to Kellyanne in my mind along much the same lines as your letter. She is so obviously energetic, focused, hard-working and just plain smart. It’s sad to see her trying so hard to word-smith her way around the latest Trump inanity.
Thank you for stating it so much more eloquently than I would have. I don’t know how she does it with four small children. I can’t imagine what its like to be a White House insider dealing with the likes of Steve Bannon. Let’s hope she see the light and gets the heck out of there soon.
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Hi Tricia,
It’s funny you had the same compulsion to pen her a letter! It’s very sad to watch the likes of Kellyanne Conway squander their talents on propping up this man.Here’s to hoping, as you say, that she will see the light!
Thanks so much for stopping by 🙂
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