My boyfriend is a savant

My boyfriend is a savant. He can multiply enormous numbers by each other in seconds and can list the members of my expansive German family in order of age without ever having been formally taught. He can recall facts about obscure historical figures I’ve never heard of and whenever we share a book to read, I have to skip paragraphs to keep up with his page turning.

Of course he denies it. He shakes his head with a bemused smile, masking the beginnings of faint frustration and says, “I’m not a savant, Katzi”. Then I ask him to multiply 678 by 78 and he says “52,884”.

“Is it really?”
“I think so”, he replies modestly.
I check it on my phone. He’s always right. I have found that he finds it difficult to refuse an offer to compute.

Being a savant’s girlfriend has its complications. One becomes idle. Instead of whipping out a calculator, or typing something into Google, or even better lifting one of my enormous encyclopaedias, I call him.

Another problem I have found is that it is extremely difficult to find a fault or defect to offset the genius quality. As well as knowing lots, he’s also unbearably humble.

The difference between us is that I don’t like to let the facts get in the way of a good diagnosis. I understand that according to the Strict Diagnostic criteria, LSB unfortunately does not qualify as a savant. However, this does not stop me from addressing text messages to him with “What’s up, Savantface?”

In an effort to refute my hypothesis, this Christmas he gave me a book with the title “Islands of Genius” with a foreword written by my hero Daniel Tammet. I fear he thought that reason was the way to a change of heart. This book, like most academic works, disguises interesting and insightful points with dull prose.

Peculiarly, though I received it last week, the inside cover claims it to have been “first published in 2012”. I see this as nothing more than further evidence of LSB’s preternatural processing speed.

21 thoughts on “My boyfriend is a savant

  1. Pingback: Savant – A person of profound or extensive learning « Die Reise meines Lebens

  2. Please keep writing Kate, I love every post! Do you take suggestions on topics…? I’d love to read what you would write on certain things!!!


      • Deadly!
        Well, everytime I read your blog, I find myself wishing that I could read what you would write on certain things – usually the things that I am a bit obsessed with at the time. Currently that is STD stigma, and personality types! (I’m really into the Myers-Briggs/David Keirsy stuff, and I’ve always been a bit fascinated by sexual health and why it’s such a taboo). In the summer it was what it is like to be deaf…
        However I know I would probably hate it if someone gave me random topic suggestions to write on so absolutely no pressure!
        Happy new year to you too! xx


  3. Pingback: Armpit hair or the Eurozone crisis? The writer’s dilemma |

  4. Pingback: Armpit hair or the Eurozone crisis? The writer’s dilemma | Fast Fails | The Best Fail Channels

  5. Pingback: LSB and the Great Lockout of 2012 «

  6. Pingback: Eye Candy «

  7. Pingback: “Disc”overing Ourselves «

  8. Pingback: Familienfest 2012: LSB, The Family Song and The Birthday Children «

  9. Pingback: Kate Katharina on Search Engine Optimisation «

  10. Pingback: Blogileaks: Kate Katharina rocked by sell-out scandal |

  11. Pingback: Frau Bienkowski meets LSB |

  12. May I ask what LSB (and LSG) stands for? (I guess ‘Boy’ and ‘Girl’ for the last letters?)

    I had a look back to the first post tagged with ‘LSB’ but I couldn’t find an explanation for the enigmatic acronym. Is it a secret? 😛


  13. Pingback: Why you should keep your mouldy shower curtains |

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s