Post of the Month

2012

January

I: thought about armpit hair and the euro zone crisis

What I said: “I met a girl once who let her armpit hair grow nice and bushy so that she could weed out the guys that were more interested in her grooming habits than her intellect.” more

February

I: moved to Berlin

Drinking beer in less challenging circumstances

Drinking beer in less challenging circumstances

What I said: “I’ve lived in the same house for 24 years. I know its every nook. When I come home, my father is where he is supposed to be. As I push open the gate, I look in the window and see the back of his head and his arms outstretched.” more

March

I: tried to open a bottle of beer with a garlic crusher

What I said:
“I have seen cool people open beer bottles with their teeth, or by levering the edge of the lid against a counter-top.” more

April

I: considered becoming a scientologist

What I said: ““First of all, look at these metal rods I am holding,” said Karl.
They looked like dumbells.
“Obviously they are not going to give you an electric shock,” he said. “Look, here I am holding them and nothing is happening.”
“Yes,” I said.
He handed me the rods and I clutched them with all my might.” more

May

I: took a train ride through the Franconian countryside

What I said: “‘What. the. FUCK is wrong with the toilet?’ she screamed. Do you never need to TAKE A PISS?’

Image source: db-loks.de

Image source: db-loks.de


His lips flickered, indignantly.
‘Madam. I made a clear announcement to the effect that one of our toilets was defective,’ he said. ‘I explained that due to an act of vandalism, a blockage had occurred.
more

June

I: had a run-in with German customs officials

What I said: “What does this mean?” I said, thrusting an official letter from the Federal German Post Office at my flatmate.
His eyes darted from left to right.” more

July

I: went to Vienna to take up a dangerous sport

What I said: ““What does this mean?” I said, thrusting an official letter from the Federal German Post Office at my flatmate.
His eyes darted from left to right.” more

August:

I: performed at the Schultz Family Gatheringfamily

What I said: “‘Keep your gaze fixed at the back of the room,’ LSB had said, against the conventional wisdom of imagining your audience naked.
I instinctively disregarded his counsel, and fixed my eye creepily on a number of individuals I believed would be sympathetic.” more

September

I: discovered Penneys in Berlin

What I said: “One girl I saw had stopped dead in front of a €2 pair of wine-coloured tights. She picked them up and stroked them” more

October

I: read over a man’s shoulder in a coffee shop in west Berlin

What I said: Right at this very moment, a man with grey floppy hair and a stripy woollen jumper is sitting in front of his laptop in a coffee shop in west Berlin, reading, what I suspect is his own story. It’s called “The Tutor” and begins: “Even with the fan beating her naked body, Gloria was dripping wet.” more

November

I: met a Republican

What I said: “Ha, I thought. So I have finally met a Republican. I was disappointed by how nice he was.” more

December

I: braved a German hairdresser

What I said: “‘“These wispy bits at the back of your head are borderline catastrophe,’ she said, kindly.
I’d chosen her salon because there was a winter-themed model train set in the window. Tiny carriages chugged around and around a snowscape and up above, as if by magic, a hot air balloon carrying a family of dolls battled through the blizzard.” more

January

I was: unemployed, restless, devilish

What I said: “I have few accomplishments to recommend me; I cannot draw, my recitals on the pianoforte are clumsy at best and I have neither a talent for embroidery nor the gift of graceful movement. The one area in which, after much searching, I have found myself to excel is in the ability to produce plausible-sounding Gibberish at will…” more

February

I: found a job, was still devilish.

What I said: “I check my e-mail before going to sleep and there’s a Valentine e-card in from LSB! I think: “Aw, what a sweetie”. I open it up only to find a Fine Gael cartoon canvasser tell me that “Labour are red, Fine Gael are blue, we won’t raise your taxes like they want to do”. Then he winks and looks shiftily (seductively?) to the side. I send one to every member of my family signing it Eoghan Murphy xxx, the name of the Fine Gael candidate in my constituency who topped 98 fm’s “hottest election poster boy” poll…” more

March

I: had a quarter-life crisis

What I said: “There was once a raven-haired fortune teller who, tracing her forefinger over my palm, told me that I would live to be in my nineties. I was alarmed when I realised some time ago that I had reached quarter age in spite of her promise of longevity. This realisation, coupled with acute post-graduation panic (PGP) has propelled me to a life crisis…” more

April

I: tried to forget about my Quarter Life Crisis by taking a trip to Sligo with LSB

What I said: “We’re leaning against a stony wall by the riverbank. I’m unzipping my camera case gingerly because I want to remember the stillness and his solitude when a blonde-haired man of about thirty staggers, stony-eyed towards us.
“Don’t you dare take my picture”, he yells. “You’ve no right, you sons of bitches. You’ve no fucking right at all”…” more

May

I: thought about my younger and more vulnerable years.

What I said: “I was 16 and practically the same but for a hideous mane of long, straggly brown hair with orange highlights. I had just finished struggling through The Satanic Verses. I’d taken it to Germany where I spent many a journey on slow trains, puff-puff-puffing their way through the Bavarian countryside, with the battered book on my knee, trying to make sense of it all. Bizarrely-named angels, and evil and the Muslims didn’t like it: it went something like that…” more

June

I: took up a political cause

What I said: “As they beat their hammers on their oak writing tables and whisper “Objection” in advance of September’s Referendum, the twenty-two dissenters will inevitably privately concede that the scrapping of Article 35.5 represents good riddance to bad rubbish. Objection over-ruled…” more

July

I: thought about pens and penises

What I said: “Unless it’s accepted as equally scandalous that the proportion of male nurses is equivalent to that of female corporate executives, a discussion of gender can never be detached from a social weighting in favour of money…” more

August

I: attended the annual Familienfest

What I said: “As I was tucking into my vegetable bags (or Gemuse Taschen) I had a sudden sinking feeling: I had forgotten to pick up the bag of black sausages!…” more

September

I: admitted that I don’t have the first clue about the economic crisis

What I said: “Every weekday morning, I brush my teeth while listening to the business news on Morning Ireland. Once the weather comes on, I know it’s time to spit…” more

October

I: realised that there’s nothing quite like an Irish Presidential election.

What I said: “The struggle for the presidential candidates to find many more words than the Queen of England herself during the “Irish Language” debate revealed the incongruities that are still gripping this little nation, which – desperate for an export-driven recovery from economic ruin- continues to struggle with its own identity…” more

November

I: went to America.

What I said: “Subways in New York are grubby places. They are for poor people and for people who read large books with city library stamps printed on their spines…” more

December

I: finished learning the Arabic alphabet!

What I said ““That is a beautiful and new car!”, I said pointing to a rusty 1993 fiat punto. “I am Kate Katharina.” “Pleased to meet you.” “Give me a falafel please”.”… more

………………………………………………………..

Thank you all so much for making 2011 lovely and for taking time out of your much more exciting lives to leave comments. I appreciate you all enormously. ❤

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3 thoughts on “Post of the Month

  1. I read this before but somehow I didnt write a comment on it. It shows tremendously your growth the past year and things you have learnt. It’s like reading your diary in a summary text. And looking at this, I have a question – do you still feel that you are still in your quarterlife crisis since 1.5 years ago?

    • It’s very strange for me to think that soon it will be two years since I started blogging! Can you imagine? Two whole years.. that’s a twelfth of my entire life 😉 One and a half years ago I felt very trapped. I was still living at home (I never moved out for university as my family home was nearby) and while I loved my job, it was something I’d fallen into by chance. I’s always wanted to travel and I was just crying out for independence. So that was my “quarter life crisis” back then. Now I’m really glad to be living independently, but I’ve taken a financial risk and I’m worried about getting enough work and about what the future holds. Being close to LSB and my family is important to me but I seem to be starting my career in a different place. The job situation is very bad in Dublin and it’s not too much better in Berlin. I feel grateful to have the flexibility to move, but there’s a lot that goes with it, as you well know! Sorry for such a long answer. I guess my answer is that my “quarter life crisis” has changed shape, and while there are things I worry about, I don’t regret the decisions I’ve made. How about you? Do you ever have these moments of panic?

      • Yes I do. When I start to feel that way, I try to do things that I am most comfortable with and try to tell myself – if I have come this far, there is something in me which will carry me forward through these.

        It is tough at times but if one doesn’t control the panic and allow it to overwhelm, it is not healthy and will affect your decision-making. I am glad you are managing through the changes, hope you will hang on and move with the tide – you will get there eventually!

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